Cold Weather, Bloody Marys, and Playing Golf Like a 5 Year Old

Undoubtedly you’ve had a year where you’re first round of the season was one of the best ever.

You’re expecting a bad score, and the ball rockets off your clubs in a way you rarely experience.  Putts are sinking left and right due to the slightly soggy and slow greens.  Your confidence is at an all time high, because you simply don’t care.

Today, ladies and gentlemen, was not one of those days.

First Tee at Colwood National

First Tee at Colwood National

I’ve hit the driving range a couple times this season, but this morning was my first real round of golf.

We headed out to Colwood National in Portland, Oregon.  A course I’d never heard of, let alone played before.  It bordered Portland International and half our round was inundated by F-18s out for their weekly training run.

That being said, I had high hopes.

Towards the end of last year I really struggled, as the more I played, the worse I got.  I couldn’t get out of my own head and small tweaks led to big ones, which led to embarrassingly high scores.

But this year was different. It was 2013. Business is good, I’ve traveled the world, and now it’s time to gear up for golf season. It was a Friday morning with two of my best friends – I was ready. 80 here I come.

To celebrate the first round we grabbed a bloody mary and headed out to the first tee.

For an inexpensive course Colwood actually had surprisingly good drainage and the fairways were in decent shape as well.

It’s a straight forward course with mostly straight holes with a few trees on the sides of the fairways.

Nothing too crazy, and the perfect course to start my season off right.

Like I said, I’m feeling confident. I’m usually a fast starter early in the season, so I pulled out my Nike Driver and stepped up to the tee.

Colwood National Golf Club

Third tee. Pretty sure this didn’t end well.

After a few practice swings, I pull back, swing and….duff.

Topped it, leaving a giant divot 6 inches in front of the tee, and my ball rolled about 50 feet off to the right.

Not only could I not make good contact, I couldn’t even get it to roll in the fairway.

Alright, round two.

Same thing.

I was able to knock an ugly 5 iron into the rough on my third attempt, but man, this was not boding well.

A Downward Spiral

Things proceeded to just get worse.  The bloody mary lasted about a hole, and my hands were freezing.  There was a little bit of snow on the way to the course, but luckily the weather held for our round – my hands however were still complaining.

Even with classifying the first two shots as mulligans, I still scored a very non-respectable quad bogey 8 on a straight 390 yard par 4.


Holes two and three weren’t any better. Although there was a brief shining light on three when I ripped a 3 hybrid 200 yards straight.

Golf is the only thing I’ve ever encountered where the more I play, the worse I seem to get.  Whenever I think I’ve found consistency it comes back and slaps me in the face.

Maybe I’m a glutton for punishment, but one of these days I’m going to consistently get back to where I feel like I should be shooting in the mid 80s on a consistent basis.

That being said, the sun came out on 5 and I took a step back.

It was Friday. I was golfing. Life doesn’t suck.

Things never got much better, however I was able to knock  pair of hybrids 200 yards each to land me 15 feet on from the pin on 7 – making for my only GIR, Fairway and par of the day.

Alas, there is hope.

One of these days I’ll have to give Colwood National another shot. While I don’t think it will ever be my favorite course, I could think of worse places to be on a summer morning. Unfortunately today it’s barely spring, and more like winter.

How does it work for you? Is your first round of the year usually solid, or a complete disaster like mine was today?

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